On Sunday I was waiting to go to a pub quiz in Gospel Oak, I didn't fancy going home so I killed some time in a weird little shop in Primrose Hill. Primrose Hill is an interesting area, it is home to the brilliant Museum of Everything, a great little museum, unlike any other museum I've been to, it includes such things as this
You should definitely go, it's free entry, but the kind of free entry where you will give a donation after regardless because it's so fun.
Primrose Hill is also home to lots of famous faces. I am disturbingly good at remembering celebrity faces. It's a real curse. I wish I could speak French, or snowboard, but I can't. I can, however, recognise Liz [Hyacinth Bucket's neighbour from Keeping up Appearances] from about 500 yards. Anyway, it's a big celebrity area, lots of actresses and actors and famous people.
At nearby Chalk Farm station I once approached Adam Shaw to ask if I could do Work Experience on lunchtime business TV favourite - Working Lunch. He said it didn't work that way at the BBC anymore, but that he admired my gusto, it was the first of many BBC-based rejections.
I don't like celebrity faces, I don't think we should care less about what they get up to, If I see someone reading Heat magazine [other abominable awful heinous waste of paper publications are available] I feel weeping for all that is good in this world, then like slapping them, throwing their mag out of the window and giving them a cuddle.
But some celebs do live in Primrose Hill and this became clear when I saw a packet of breakfast cereal which cost £8.95. This wasn't like Uzbek Mountain Granola or something either, this was a packet of Lucky Charms
Wikipedia says 'Lucky Charms consist of two main components: toasted oat-based pieces and multi-colored marshmallow bits (marbits) in various shapes, the latter making up over 25 percent of the cereal's volume'
It sounds good, I mean marbits is up there with tofurkey [tofu and turkey], and wholphin [offspring of a whale and dolphin] as far as exciting portmanteaus go.
But it doesn't seem like £8.95's worth.
It has a big cult status in the States, but has never made it over here. I don't think the UK has a comparison, maybe imagine if the Coco Pops Monkey mated with Tony the Tiger, and the Honey Monster. The combo would get nearer the status of the Lucky Charm, plus you'd get some sort of great portmanteaud offspring [I propose Tonoco the Hongermonkey] . I think this cereal caters for nostalgic Hollywood expatriates or to aid the transition of their displaced children.
I have never eaten a Lucky Charm, but I tweeted a photo of this expensive box, and got lots of feedback.
MY favourite bit of feedback was this
I, of course said YES.
He packed them and posted them on Monday [left], I received and opened them on Tuesday [right]
I waited until Wednesday to taste them.
Wednesday morning I awoke with a cold and anxiously headed to the Kitchen. I went with the classic cereal+ milk option, and it worked they were good. I can't lie, these marbits really deliver a morning boost.
It's real nice of @HeyMercedes to post me food, twitter is so great when people get involved. If the world did more twitter fun and less free newspapers and celebrity magazines the world would be way better.
I learned a lot about narrative when doing my degree, and there is a narrative arc that must be resolved. Would I pay £8.95 for a box of cereal?
In the imaginary, somewhat scandinavian, country I live in in my mind, this pricing strategy would be extended to most things that are bad for you. It seems to make sense. An £8.95 price tag probably sees me consuming these at exactly the right rate. I can't help but feel this shouldn't be a breakfast cereal, 25% marbit ratios and breakfast, just probably should not go together.
I probably would not pay £8.95, I did however, find some on the internet, for slightly cheaper, this ruins my narrative arc, but is information, and I'm all about open disclosure here. If I do get some, I'll let you know and maybe I'll post you some.
If anyone wants to develop some breakfast cereals with me I will consider licensing Tonoco the Hongermonkey. I have some other ideas too, Krunchy Katflapz, Wheat cordurouy, Tiny morning fun potatoes.
Free bonus breakfast recipe:
Well my traditional breakfast routine is as follows
half a cup of frozen raspberries/blueberries/mango/pineapple/kiwi fruits
a quarter cup of granola
some sort of juice
I use the amazing Kenwood Smoothie 2 Go machine - what a gadget, it's a cup and a smoothie maker -IT'S LIKE LIVING IN THE FUTURE, a beautiful beautiful future, a definite recommendation from Culture Badger, I sometimes have one for pudding too, because I can.